Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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