white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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