so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
