yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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