Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
