Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Two words: nipple clamps
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