So drunk its hurt
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
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Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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