gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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