do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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