And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
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I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
