I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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