it hurts more in the daytime
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize