What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
