My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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