i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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