just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
