i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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