She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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