How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*