Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.