I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
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Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.