his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever