ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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