Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Enjoy the penises
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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