so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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