Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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