I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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