Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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