You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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