i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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