im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Your dad touched me again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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