So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize