This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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