You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize