it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
