how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
