Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize