I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
