So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
