u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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