We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
porn star boner night. come get it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize