your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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