I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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