guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
