Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
