i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
