do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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