woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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