You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
