do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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