Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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