I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
