I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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